Hello! How are you all doing? I'd wish you to be as happy as me, but I know that's impossible. Sorry! haha :D
So. Miracles. They are everywhere. Before we left for Japan from the MTC, someone said a quote, "Thank the Lord at the end of the day for miracles you didn't see." I thought this was amazing. But I realized something new while in the field: "Thank the Lord for miracles you take for granted." This is how I came to that thought.
This Thursday, my trainers left for a conference. So it was me and another 3rd week missionary doing our very best to serve the Lord. Let me tell you: Our best isn't very good. Hard things happened, and one of our progressing investigators actually came to church and returned all of his materials. He'd been offended by something dumb, and used it as an excuse to cop out. I was lost and worried. The next day, as we woke up at 6 to work out with another Prog. Inv. I didn't want to go. I was tired; I was sore; I was scared. Yes. I confess that my heart was failing me. I didn't understand why I was out without trainers; why I was trying so hard, only to fail repeatedly. I had seen very little success in my weeks here. The rational part of my brain said, "Oi. You've been here for 3 weeks." But my emotional side was reigning. I was aching, uncertain of my own capacities to serve the Lord. I didn't doubt Him whatsoever. Never have, probably never will.
But I doubted myself.
After the work out, we came back and got ready for an exchange. While my companion was in the shower, I knelt down and prayed. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to change me to be something He could utilize. Then, I turned on Elder Holland's talk, "Lord, I believe". I was uplifted and strengthened. From that point, whenever I doubted myself, I fell on my faith first. I'd pray by starting with, "Heavenly Father, I know you to be the one who called me." And this would put things in perspective. I began to work more faithfully. Not harder; not longer. But I began to believe I could succeed. And I did.
Saturday, I was working hard at finding. My 4 man companionship was on 4 corners right in front of the train statioin, and we were talking to everyone. I ran into a kid called Kazuhiro. He is 17, and he listened. I told him that I speak WITH God every day. I told him that God is our Heavenly Father, who wants us to be happy. I told him that in order to talk to us, Heavenly Father uses Prophets. I told him about the 1st vision and the restoration. I gave him a book of mormon, and testified of it's truthfulness. I set up an appointment. And I felt wonderful afterwards.
My companions congratulated me afterwards for doing it by myself. But I squirmed at the compliment. I didn't do it by myself. THat was ALL Heavenly Father. Without Him, Kazuhiro wouldn't have been there. Without Him, I wouldn't have been there. Without Him, I wouldn't have been on a mission. Without Him, I wouldn't have had faith. Without Him, this world wouldn't exist. Without Him, I wouldn't exist. I began to thank the Lord for one of my greatest miracles I have always taken for granted: Me.
I encourage you all to do the same. Take a moment; think of who you are; find the Hand of the Lord that IS your life. Thank Him. Serve Him. There is NOTHING that brings more joy than that.
That is why I am happier than you all. Bahaha!